Ulster Wargames Society: Peasants Rampant

Game using Lion Rampant, 28mm.

Players

Leslie, Phil , Paddy, Adam.

Battle report by Leslie.

Baron Adam the Impetuous stared towards the village in the distance. The time had come for revenge. No longer would he be denied his feudal rights by a rabble of peasant scum. They had taken advantage of his absence, serving the king in the wars against the English enemy, to refuse to perform their rightful duties but now he was back and they would suffer for their treacherous insolence. He would visit death and destruction upon them. There would be hangings and blindings aplenty such that no peasant would ever think of daring to defy him again.

He had brought with him the flower of French military might. There were two units of mounted knights, a unit of mounted Sergeants , a group of heavy spearmen and a unit of cross bowmen. As he was about to order the advance one of his household knights drew his attention to two large groups of troops advancing towards them .

In the northeast the banners of the English Lord Philip the Modest could be seen fluttering in the wind. The English had no mounted troops but there were clearly two units of dismounted knights trudging forward followed by two bodies of those accursed longbow men.

In the northwest Baron Adam could also clearly see a large band of German mercenaries under the leadership of the Irish soldier of fortune Count Patrick the Cautious. A unit of mounted knights could be observed leading a column of two units of heavy spearmen, a force of mounted cross bowmen and finally a body of slow-moving armoured crossbow armed infantry struggling under the weight of their large wooden pavises.

His revenge upon the villagers would have to wait until he had driven off these foreign predators. Baron Adam signaled the advance.

The game was played using the Lion Rampant wargames rules and the players were Adam, Phil, Paddy and myself playing as leader of The Village People. It was a simple last man standing game designed to provoke maximum carnage and bloodshed. The figures used were 28mm from various manufacturers.

The game began with a rapid advance by Baron Adam to contact the English . A series of hard fought and bloody clashes led to the eventual destruction of the French warband culminating in Baron Adam routing from the table. He had saved his life but lost his honour. The much reduced English force now moved against the German mercenaries.

While the English and French had been locked in combat Count Patrick had been trying to negotiate an alliance with either of the protagonists but had been resolutely ignored by both. He then tried to capture the village from the armed peasants led by their Amazonian leader Robyna Hood. The unwieldly and disorganized German spearmen were easily massacred in the narrow alleys and lanes of the village by their more nimble opponents and the few survivors fled for safety followed by the taunts and derisive laughter of The Village People .

A very chastened Count Patrick now decided to confront the much reduced English. More bloodletting soon followed and large numbers of men died on both sides including Count Patrick who fell under a barrage of English arrows. The much fancied German armoured cross bowmen moved little and achieved even less before they fled for their lives accompanied by the remnants of the mounted crossbow men who also having failed to shine decided it prudent to return to Germany. By the last move of the game the two sides were reduced to two very small units of English dismounted knights opposing a half strength unit of German heavy spearmen. In a moment of incredible bravery, or perhaps insanity, Lord Philip mounted a lone and desperate charge into the ranks of the German infantry only to be hacked to death in the midst of his foes. The much surprised and relieved German survivors were declared the winners and were delighted to slowly limp back towards home.

The Village People were perhaps the real winners of the day as they reveled in watching their feudal superiors engage in mutually assured destruction without any loss to themselves. Yet despite this Baron Adam had survived so perhaps the story was not yet over.

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Editorial comment.

Count Patrick well and truly lost the game by attacking the Village People. This seems to be the highlight of the game as it was mentioned as I went round the game and on the WhatsApp feed.

It was such a mighty act that the renowned bard Guy de Campheis composed a ballad to immortalize it.

Your diligent Editor sought out the bard to get the definitive version of the ballad and any addition thoughts on the battle the bard may have. These were quite terse - "Up the workers" , "Beat the rich" followed by "Off you sod".

The ballad of the Village people aka Young Massacred Count de Allemand ( Usually known as Y.M.C.A. ), by the bard Guy de Campheis (c).

Young Count, there's a village to which you can go
I said, young Count, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to raise the taxes which you have in mind.